“A spiritual awakening isn’t a moment; it’s a process. It’s a thousand small realizations, a million tiny shifts, and an endless journey of unlearning, healing, and becoming.” ~unknown
Along the road toward self-mastery, there will come a point on each person’s journey where they ask themselves,
Why me?
Why is this happening?
Few recognize at first that what feels like an ending is often the beginning.
You will wonder if the upheaval that caused your awakening was sent as a punishment or some kind of stroke of “bad luck.”
The unraveling will be painful.
Disorienting.
Unpleasant.
It will feel like a thousand tiny deaths, each one shattering the illusions with which you had built your identity.
Relationships.
Habits.
Mindsets.
Interests.
Aspirations.
Dismantling each, right down to your very core. Until eventually, you no longer recognize the person you once believed yourself to be.
Brick by brick, your old life falls away and the walls that once protected you come crashing down.
But the collapse is not the end of your story—it is the beginning of a more authentic one.
What we choose to do next is where our power lies.
Do we…
…move past the fear and chaos of the unraveling, to embrace the path we are being called to follow?
…or do we fall into victimhood and push against change?
The choice is up to each of us,
as part of our free will.
We may not choose the catalyst that awakens us, but we do choose how we respond to it.
Some will resist.
Others will surrender and go all in.
The difference is not in what they are being asked to face, but in their willingness to face it.
And that choice changes everything.
The ones who resist will hold on for dear life, grasping for some sense of control. They will bypass, avoid, numb, and distract their way out of the discomfort, keeping them trapped in repeating loops, until one day the Universe makes the choice for them.
And they find themselves thrown into a more painful situation than the one they were trying to avoid.
The ones who go all in will embrace the unknown with courage and curiosity.
These brave souls recognize the necessary, but uncomfortable, invitation being presented: to unlock the door and step into a new way of life.
Leaving the old behind is not a punishment.
It is what must occur in order to transform into their best self.
The caterpillar cannot become the butterfly while remaining in its former state.
Every stage of growth requires a willingness to shed your old skin, even when doing so feels uncomfortable.
To accept this invitation to awaken and transform, all you must do is step forward and trust.
So, what is it that distinguishes those to go all in and those who resist?
Why do some emerge from the shedding process transformed while others remain the same for years?
What factors determine the depth to which we awaken?
Based on my observations over time, as well as my own self-awareness, I have narrowed it down to these five. I hope these can help you.
Five Factors that Determine the Depth to Which We Awaken
1. Our Ability to Overcome Fear
A strong spirit isn’t something you create before you take the leap. It is what gets built on the way up.
Most people don’t fail because they lack the ability to change. They fail because their inner world is divided.
They know they need to change and deep down they want to be better, but they fear what this change will cost them. And they allow this fear to take hold of them to the point where they never take the necessary action or follow-through.
I have seen people, men especially, who remain trapped in fear for years, a slave to their circumstances, rather than the director of their own life.
As long as that underlying fear is there, our progress will be limited. Not because we lack potential, but because a part of us is still negotiating with the very thing we know we must do.
We are sending ourselves mixed signals:
“Yes, I want to change,”
but “No, that scares me.”
So, we move in circles, never fully committing or maintaining consistency with our actions.
We take a few steps forward, then retreat out of uncertainty, when certainty often doesn’t arrive until we follow through with the plan.
The result is stagnation disguised as preparation.
The version of you that is aligned with your highest path does not wait for fear to disappear. Or allow fear to hold him/herself back.
S/he rises to meet it.
2. Our Willingness to Release Attachments
Second, we will see faster and more noticeable progress on our awakening if we are willing to hold loosely to people and things in our lives.
What we are willing to release often determines what we are able to receive. Stagnation is the result of holding on too tightly to what has already begun to outgrow us.
As the great Buddha once said, “The root of all suffering is attachment.”
This can be our attachment to people. It can be patterns, identities, or beliefs. Or ways of thinking and operating that no longer serve us.
We become rigid and steadfast in holding on tightly to these things, even when we know they are not good for us.
And why is that?
For one, we are afraid of who we will become without that person, pattern, or belief—uncertain of our identity without it.
Secondly, we mistake familiarity for safety. We believe that what is known will protect us, even when it quietly limits us.
These comforts keep us from sitting with ourselves long enough to see what is actually happening within.
Choosing to go all in on your healing journey means that you are willing to face yourself and also surrender to the necessary process healing entails: shedding and releasing.
It means committing to the path of your highest evolution, no matter what it might cost you. This can include releasing people, places and beliefs that no longer align with who you are becoming.
If we want to evolve, we must be brave enough to let go of the things that are keeping us stuck, even if they have become part of us.
This is easier said than done. I know from experience.
The only way out is to go through.
You must trust that the experiences unfolding in front of you are for your highest and best good, and that whatever is being released is making room for something greater.
3. Our Humility in Dropping the Ego
Next, the depth of our awakening depends on how willing we are to practice
humility. In other words, how willing are we to release the ego’s need for control and certainty?
Operating from our ego is self-protection at its best… pride, victimhood, justification, denial, and the need for control.
It is the belief that we know best, which closes us off to other perspectives and possibilities.
One of the most challenging aspects of awakening is that it calls into question everything we once believed to be true. Not only are we invited to examine our beliefs, but many of them are brought into question through experiences that feel deeply uncomfortable.
This questioning extends into every layer of our identity:
what we believed to be true about ourselves,
what we believed to be true about others,
what we were taught by society,
and the ideas we accepted without ever truly examining them.
An example of this might be realizing that a long-held belief about success isn’t what actually brings you fulfillment.
In these moments, perception itself begins to shift. It can feel as though a veil has been lifted, and what once felt certain is now open to reconsideration.
The question becomes, will you surrender to what is being revealed and remain open?
Or will you resist and cling on to pride?
“What you resist not only persists, it controls your life from the shadows.” ~Carl Jung
Allow yourself to undergo change.
4. Our Openness and Curiosity
Not only must we allow ourselves to be malleable, we must also become open and curious about our patterns and behaviors.
Keep in mind that much of how we move through life is conditioned over time. We develop unconscious habits, coping mechanisms, perspectives, and reactions that eventually become automatic. Before we know it, we are operating on autopilot—reacting to life rather than consciously creating it.
Most people rarely stop to question where these patterns originated or whether they are still serving them. It is often the awakening process itself that invites us to look deeper and begin asking questions.
In observing hundreds of people over time, I have noticed this distinguishing marker of progress for those undergoing a spiritual awakening:
their ability to become the observer and get curious.
As Carl Jung so wisely said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Those who advance more deeply on their spiritual path seek to understand how their past has shaped them and how it may still be influencing their choices today. They begin asking themselves:
Why do I do that?
Where did this pattern come from?
What is this situation showing me?
What is the lesson I am meant to learn here?
And then they pause. They reflect. They search within for answers rather than immediately looking outside themselves for someone or something to blame.
Some may even seek the guidance of a therapist, psychologist, coach, or mentor who can help them uncover and heal the roots of their patterns.
Over time, they learn to observe not only the people and situations around them, but also their own responses to them. Learning to respond rather than react.
They come to understand that every trigger, recurring challenge, and relationship dynamic contains valuable information.
This shift is profound. The moment we become willing to examine our inner world with honesty and curiosity, we move from feeling powerless to becoming active participants in our own transformation.
Curiosity softens judgment. It creates space for understanding, and understanding creates the possibility for change.
Remaining open and curious allows us to evolve more quickly because we become willing to learn from life rather than simply reacting to it.
5. Our Ability to Act from Love
Finally, the last characteristic of those who choose to fully embrace their spiritual path is their ability to act from love instead of shame.
These are the souls who choose to heal and evolve because they see the future version of who they wish to become, not because they carry shame of the person they have been.
There is no self-loathing.
Only self-love.
They hold the vision of their future self steady in their mind and heart, knowing that if they continue taking one aligned step after the other, they will eventually become that person.
Their actions are guided by a deep love of self and a desire to improve, rather than guilt, shame, or force.
This form of self-love sounds like…
“Because I love myself, and want what’s best for myself, I can no longer choose this.”
- “… I can no longer hold onto this mindset.”
- “… I will no longer entertain these types of connections.”
- “… I will no longer tolerate my own B.S. and instead surrender to my evolution.”
There is an inner drive to improve and to hold themselves accountable. They stop abandoning themselves for the sake of comfort, both other people’s and their own.
This is perhaps one of the most powerful shifts that occurs during a spiritual awakening.
Growth is no longer fueled by the fear of their mistakes. It is fueled by the love of who they are becoming.
And because love expands while shame contracts, their evolution becomes more authentic and more aligned.
The truth is that lasting transformation rarely occurs through self-condemnation. It occurs when we care enough about ourselves to choose differently, even when those choices are uncomfortable.
Love becomes both the compass and the end result.
In sharing these observations, it is not to say that anyone is “doing it wrong.” There is no right or wrong way to navigate your journey.
What you choose and the consequences of those choices are all part of your learning and growth in this lifetime.
Each experience is simply feedback guiding you back to yourself.
What takes one person one attempt to learn may take another several tries, but that doesn’t make him/her any less worthy or capable.
The only person we are competing against is ourselves.
No two souls’ paths are exactly alike, making it unhelpful to judge another or compare ourselves to anyone.
Each person comes into this life to master him/herself. This involves mastering certain lessons, such as forgiveness, acceptance, and unconditional love.
It involves facing ourselves over and over again until we are able to conquer our fears and unconscious behaviors and return to wholeness.
This is no easy task.
If it were, everyone would have achieved mastery.
But, the bright spot is that we can learn to do better.
Always.
Nothing inside of us is fixed.
This includes our habits, our addictions,
our thoughts, our beliefs, our vibration.
None of it.
We are moldable.
Malleable.
Adaptable.
And what makes us amazing as human beings is our self-awareness and our connection to the Divine—to the Source of all that is.
And with this connection, we can do anything. Literally anything.
If we choose.
The fact that you are no longer sleepwalking, means that you are already on that path.
You are ready to meet the deeper parts of yourself.
This requires you to go beyond your comfort zone and embrace the path you’re being called to walk.
And if that means that you will have to overcome fear and attachments, isn’t that a risk you’re willing to take?
Of course it is.
Because you’re here reading this. And you are ready to evolve.
I’m incredibly proud of you.
There’s so much more to come.♥
© 2026 Divine Soul Guidance
If you desire more guidance and support with this topic, or another challenge in your awakening journey, I would be honored to work with you. Follow the link on the Contact Me page to get started.
orker, and spiritual mentor who guides others on their awakening journey to heal from unhealthy patterns and behaviors, free themselves from the past, and step into becoming their most authentic, aligned selves. She is the author of Bravely Becoming © 2021 and the course creator of Soul Awakened, a step-by-step guide to navigating the awakening process.
